Contest: Can You Out-Market the W.H.O.?

From the world of medicine comes news that the World Health Organization will no longer use the term “swine flu”.

[W.H.O. spokesman Dick] Thompson said the flu name change comes after the agriculture industry and the U.N. food agency expressed concerns that the term “swine flu” was misleading consumers and needlessly causing countries to order the slaughter of pigs.

Makes sense to me, and as one of millions who read “Charlotte’s Web” as a child, I sympathize.

The object of the exercise, then, is to come up with another name for the general public to use instead. It’s got to be accurate, politically correct (this is the World Health Organization), and memorable so that it enters common usage.

So, what did you come up with, Mr. Thompson?

“Rather than calling this swine flu … we’re going to stick with the technical scientific name H1N1 influenza A,” he said.

I think my readers can do better than that. Frankly, my cat could do better. But I think you could do better than my cat. So here’s a little contest:

Come up with a replacement name for swine flu. Leave it in the comment field. The winning entry will receive my copy of Scott Ginsberg’s “How to Be That Guy”.

Phil Bernstein will be the sole judge. The winning entry must be catchy, reasonably clean, and not insulting to any ethnic group (for example, a local radio host has become fond of “Mexi-Flu”. We”re not going there).

Contest is open through Sunday, May 3. Leave your entry in the comments field.


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