Author: "Doctor" Phil Bernstein

Attack of the Clutter Monsters

Wondering why you can’t seem to get anyone’s attention? “Anywhere the eye can see,” says the New York Times, it’s likely to see an ad.”

When I first posted this, I tested the link to the article, and was taken first to an ad for a Sony notebook. That’s not happening now — I guess you only get that annoyance the first time you go there. Subsequently, you go straight to the article, but there’s still a little ad (actually, rotating ads for various movies) in the upper right corner.

Nice unintentional irony there.

You’re on Candid (Cell Phone) Camera

Would you change anything about your store or office if you knew that your customers were recording their experiences, and could post them folr all the world to see?

Well, it’s happening. Check out the cell phone camera slide show from Paul McEnany’s visit to Kohl’s. Thanks to Church of the Customer for turning me on to this.

Whatever you’re doing — good or bad — is fair game for the internet.

“Your Call May Be Recorded…

…for quality and training purposes.”

How often have we heard that line? It generally happens when we call a large company’s customer service line — and it’s the company doing the recording.

Let’s turn that on it’s head. What if you’re the company, and your customers are doing the recording. To hold you to your promises; or gather information in order to sue you; or even post the call on the internet?

The folks at the Landing The Deal Blog have a post about an organization offering to help customers do just that.

What would you change if you knew your customers were recording your calls?

Branding Yourself as Unremarkable

On a refrigerator in suburban St. Louis, Missouri is a magnet. The magnet has schedules for the local football teams, along with a slogan from the Realtor who provided it:

Go With Gordon — The Hard Working Nice Guy!

Can you think of a less-remarkable nickname? Especially since Gordon gave it to himself? Amazingly enough, a Google search reveals that this is a common slogan in the real estate business. There’s a Hard Working Nice Guy in Orlando, FL; a Hard Working Nice Guy in Chicago; a Hard Working Nice Guy in Chilliwack, BC and Yuba City, CA.

“The Splendid Splinter” is memorable.

“The Godfather of Soul” is remarkable.

“The Axis of Evil” stays in the mind.

“Portland’s Finest Media Rep” is remarkable — if you’re a Portland business owner, and I can convince you that I’m Portland’s finest media rep, I’ve got a good chance of getting your business.

How excited can you get about the chance to work with a hard working nice guy?

The Guy Who Wrote “But Wait, There’s More!”

The expression’s been around so long, it’s hard to believe a real person actually came up with it. But an article in the Sunday New York Times Magazine says that man was Arthur Schiff, who died last year at the age of 66.

According to the article, Schiff wrote scripts for more than 1800 commercials, including the famous Ginsu knife ad. He also coined the phrase “Now how much would you pay?”.

I’d love to leave a legacy like that.